I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize