now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
