It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
