I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize