You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize