i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
