Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
