He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
