Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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