She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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