OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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