Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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