Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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