Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
