You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
