wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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