If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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