I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
