Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize