the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize