to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize