I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
