I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
