you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
