Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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