he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
