ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
