She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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