we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize