I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
