My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
