What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
