Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
