I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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