my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
