Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You can't motorboat a personality
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
