I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
