Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
