Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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