If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
