the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
