saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
