woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
