Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
