I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
