I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
