she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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