Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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