i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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