ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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