just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
