I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
