Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize