I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
