Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
