Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize