I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
