TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
