he shaved USA in his pubs
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
