You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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