dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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