i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
