Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
