I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
3pm strippers are depressing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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