Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
