i already hear my dad disowning me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
