So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
