i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
